Thursday, April 30, 2009

Biker Chick, Mrs. Todd Palin, Alaska, American Chopper, TLC

Emmigration You Can Believe In

Ass man Mark Lyttle expected to return home after serving a few months in prison for inappropriately -- or by invitation -- touching some broad's assy ass. Instead the mentally ill U.S. government, best symbolized by the deluded Pelosi liar-hack, deported the mildly retarded fella on down to Mexico. Mexican dopes deported him to Honduras. Honduran fools deported him to Guatemala – even though he is a North Carolina-born U.S. citizen/dry-back who no habla Espanol...
Oh well, snafus r us.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Robert Stacy McCain, MD

Thanks, Doc.
How to Avoid Mexican Swine Flu
By Robert Stacy McCain
1. Avoid swine.
2. Avoid Mexicans.
3. Otherwise, take two aspirin and call me in the morning.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Thursday, April 23, 2009

YoYo Diet

I'm trying this one next: the Gabriel Method

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Hangin' With Mr. Thug Tyrant, Old Approaches and New

Historical lessons on how to handle a bully.

Earth Day Save The Kids Ed Begley Junior

Pooping in a bucket.
Sure Ed Begley Jr. walks to the post office. Big deal. The post office is a block and a half from Ed Begley Jr.'s house. Easier to walk than to drive. Sure I know where Ed Begley Jr.'s house is. My boydog poops on Ed Begley Jr.'s lawn every day. Boydog likes to poop some poop right there for Ed. Sure I pick up that poop. I put it in the dogpoop bucket. And no, I never count the hybrid and electric cars outside Ed Begley Jr.'s house (4), any more than I count the limos there to pick him up at night. Stretch limos. Uh huh. Maybe those are his visitors' stretch limos. And I'm certain that the addition they're building over Ed Begley Jr.'s garage will be green green green. Union workers. Documented employees only. Eco-hammers wielded by eco-hammerers. More solar tiles and panels to match those already up there on Ed's roof. Bird friendly. And hey, he may walk a block and a half to the post office but Ed Begley Jr. doesn't walk that longish mile (1) to the Studio City branch of the LA public library. Nope. Ed drives over there. Yep. He drives over there to charge his electric car using the city's electric car electricity hook up there in the public library parking lot. That's thinking globally and acting locally. Ain't it Ed? Thanks, Ed Begley Jr., for showing us the way to cheapskate cheap renewable sustainable alternative power. You a leader among the green.
Save Sponge Bob.
Handyman Wilmer.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Rove: Biden's Pants Are On Fire

Why State The Obvious, Rove?

Texan and politcal genius Karl Rove
Calls Biden 'Liar' After the Boasting, Scolding Bore
VP Boasts of Scolding Bush

According to Bill Sammon:
Aides to former President George W. Bush
are challenging the veracity of Vice President
Joe Biden's claim this week of having privately
castigated Bush.
Commander-in-Chief Obama's
first executive decision was to choose
the senator known as "The Liar's Liar,"
Joe "Plugs" Biden, as his running man.
Biden is pictured here.

Wait. Contento regrets posting the picture above.
Despite the uncanny resemblance, that's not Joe Biden.
This is:

A thousand apologies for grabbing the
wrong photograph from the archives.



Kerry To The Rescue With: Hearings

French-Looking John Francois Kerry calls for Butt Pirate Hearings as his personal drama continues

"There have been more than 50 attacks in the area this year alone and the problem isn’t going away," Kerry said. "I plan to hold hearings to further examine the growing threat of piracy and all the policy options that need to be on the table before the next fire drill becomes an international incident with big implications.”

More evidence of John Francois's expertise on all maritime matters:

Lest we forget: John Francois Kerry couldda been president:

I plan to hold hearings
I plan to hold hearings
I plan to hold hearings
I plan to hold hearings
I plan to hold hearings I plan to hold hearings I plan to hold hearings I plan to hold hearings I plan to hold hearings I plan to hold hearings I plan to hold hearings I plan to hold hearings I plan to hold hearings

Oh yeah, John Kerry was in Viet Nam 120 days more than Contento and he collected a Bronze Star, a Silver Star and three (3!) Purple Hearts.
Contento? Contento has life scars but no stars, hearts, commendations or medals to throw over the White House gate.

Camile Paglia

Letters to Ms. Paglia

Saturday, April 4, 2009