Tiger Woods -- I Have Not Had An Affair With Mr. Woods

I cleaned thousands of emails out of my in box and thousands more out of my out box today.
But I'm wearing the same underwear I wore yesterday.
One step forward one and a half steps backward.
No, I’m not depressed.
And no, I have not had an affair with Tiger Woods.
I’m no blonde model. Hardly Tiger’s type, anyway.
I drive a Ford, not a Buick.
I wear Adidas, not Nike.
I’m a recluse.
I don’t go out.
I stay home with my dogs and computer.
Still, I thought it best to clear out my gmail pronto.
Away with all evidence.
Before the snoops investigative journalists come around digging up Tigerdirt.
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Wednesday Updatery: MMalkin: TWoods Is An Idiot