A Lonely Jew At Christmas

Not.

MY FIRST NOEL: WHY CHRISTMAS KICKS THE LIVING **** OUT OF HANUKKAH

Marty Beckerman
America's Sexxxiest Young Journalist

I don’t feel guilty for loving Christmas, mostly because Jews pretty much created Christmas, or at least the contemporary/superior version. (And considering that Jesus popped out of Mary’s Semitic vagina, we gave the world the religious version too.)
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Actually this year Christmas and Hanukkah occur simultaneously, so I will teach my girlfriend’s family how to light a menorah, which should be fun to try while I’m obliterated on Nana’s alcoholic apple cider. Perhaps they will enjoy my tribe’s festivities as much as I enjoy theirs… but somehow I doubt it. And that’s “ho ho ho”-kay with me.

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