Latreasa Goodman

In other voting news: A McNuggets "Emergency"

Floridian called 911 three times over McDonald's chicken shortage

MARCH 3--Angered that her local McDonald's was out of Chicken McNuggets, a typical loser called 911 three times to report the fast food "emergency."

This is not the kind of change we had envisioned when we saw Aretha's hat. And sure, click on the Floridian -- I love that word -- link above for audio of the distress calls.
Time for some 'Nuggitz stimulus from the White House.

Lovers' Spat

Police: Ex-lover stabbed Boynton Beach executive 200 times with screwdriver

Well, it was 220 times stabbed, but who'd be counting, 'cept Khandi Alexander?
Which is the stabber and which the stabbee? I get those gals mixed up.
Which is the killer and which is the murdered? I can't tell.
Who betrayed whom? Dunno.
Who's the lover and who's the beloved? Beats me.
Who's the husband and who's the wife? Sorry, can't tell you.
Which favored flannel shirts?
Either way, it's sad sad sad. Sad.
But that's relationships in the 21st century for ya.
And I'm not pointing any finger here. Nor making light of a passion tragedy. Lord knows I felt some'o'dat love rage myself back in the 20th Century.
I've moved on.
For the most part anyway.
Speaking of rage, I read some'o'the Puffington Host today, but only because it was required professionally. I mean really. Who still cares -- well, who cares except Obama voters -- what's said over there? C'mon, they publish Sean Penn and Alec Baldwin. What else do we need to know? But, if you're going that way, so to speak, better off going to Mugger's SpliceToday or Tina's The Daily Beast. Unlike Arianna, at least Mugger and Tina are not unhappy. Or if they are, their sites don't show it.
And Puffington? It's entirely coincidental that one of their "writers" is a murderess.
And though it's noted in this article, but not in any alarming way, full disclosure requires that I mention that sometime I go to Bally Total Fitness too, just like murderess Burger.
In my neighborhood it's fondly referred to as the prison gym. But only because of the tats on the recently released felons in the free weight section of the Bally's I go to. They're not all like that, I don't imagine. Not all felons up there pumping in the free weight room.
More often I go to LaLaFitness. Prettier clientele. And less of the Pine Sol scent. In either gym I pretty much stay outta the locker room and -- so far -- the steam room -- but so what? That's not your business anyway. Let's get to the point here.
Everyone is all talking about gay marriage.
Mostly around here everyone's saying everyone should have the right to get married.
Proposition 8 this. Proposition 8 that. Vote yes on Proposition 8 Vote No on Proposition 8 blah blah snore.
I love weddings. I cry at weddings. Then I skip the reception. Who wants to dance? Not me. Hell, my groove thing broke down. Long ago. Before Larry LeVan died. Or Dan Hartman. Or Sylvester. Or Studio 54. But more to the point?
Why are we talking about "gay" marriage?
I want to talk about "gay" divorce. Uh huh. D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
Let's talk about the hate that dare not speak its name.
Yeah, gay divorce.
I'd say this is a good time to bring up gay divorce. Got any laws -- to say nothing of customs or traditions -- covering that? I'm just asking.

Speaking of "gay divorce," how you think I should vote on Prop 8 next week?

Pants On Fire

WFTV-Channel 9's Barbara West conducted a satellite interview with Sen. Joe Biden on Thursday. A friend says it's some of the best entertainment he's seen recently. What do you think?

West wondered about Sen. Barack Obama's comment, to Joe the Plumber, about spreading the wealth. She quoted Karl Marx and asked how Obama isn't being a Marxist with the "spreading the wealth" comment.

"Are you joking?" said Biden, who is Obama's running mate. "No," West said.

West later asked Biden about his comments that Obama could be tested early on as president. She wondered if the Delaware senator was saying America's days as the world's leading power were over.

"I don't know who's writing your questions," Biden shot back.

Biden so disliked West's line of questioning that the Obama campaign canceled a WFTV interview with Jill Biden, the candidate's wife.

"This cancellation is non-negotiable, and further opportunities for your station to interview with this campaign are unlikely, at best for the duration of the remaining days until the election," wrote Laura K. McGinnis, Central Florida communications director for the Obama campaign.

McGinnis said the Biden cancellation was "a result of her husband's experience yesterday during the satellite interview with Barbara West."

Here's a link to the interview: http://www.wftv.com/video/17790025/index.html.

WFTV news director Bob Jordan said, "When you get a shot to ask these candidates, you want to make the most of it. They usually give you five minutes."

Jordan said political campaigns in general pick and choose the stations they like. And stations often pose softball questions during the satellite interviews.

"Mr. Biden didn't like the questions," Jordan said. "We choose not to ask softball questions."

Jordan added, "I'm crying foul on this one."

Disrobed

Who knows? Perhaps Stripped-Of-His-Black-Judicial-Robes Black Democrat extortioner ex-judge but still Black Congressman Alcee (thanks for that name, Mom) Hastings' morbid apology indicates a sorrowful sincerity equal to his happy distain for hunters sportsmen Jews and Palins. Dunno. Apologies such as his are easily uttered and more often than not meaningless. Still, he's just another lucky -- if ungrateful -- American idiot so let's accept, forgive, forget and move on dot com.

Shanah Tovah